Fractured Mirror
by mscatmoon
Summary: Sam had a chance to come home, and instead he made a different choice. Donna is leaving. Al needs to find a way to convince her to stay. Consequences. It's all about consequences. Takes place after "Mirror Image."


**Fractured Mirror**

_By Cat Moon (Pfain Ryder)_

Al stood in the doorway of Donna Elesee Beckett's office. He watched her hastily gathering up papers and waited for her to notice him, even though he suspected he was the last person she wanted to see right now.

"Donna," he said softly.

She turned and looked at him. The steady gaze made him uncomfortable, and he shifted. "What do you want?"

"To talk," he said, taking the chance of advancing further. Women were highly unpredictable when upset or angry-with five wives in his various pasts, he'd had plenty of experience. Tread lightly.

"I have nothing to say to you," she informed him, continuing to stuff her briefcase full of letters. He noticed the mirrorgraph picture (a unique process Sam had invented) of Donna and her husband, lying on the desk, the glass cracked in a spiderweb pattern.

Al took a step forward. "We'll find him," he assured lamely.

Donna pointedly ignored him, her anger still fueling her quick, jerky movements.

"I'm sorry..."

"Why should you be, it's not _your_ life," she snapped.

Al sighed and came all the way into the room, closing the door behind him. Donna didn't need rubberneckers at a time like this. "You know me better than that."

She spun and looked at him for a long moment, then seemed to come to a silent decision. He saw it wasn't the one he wanted-she went back to packing up her office. "This has nothing to do with you."

Oh how he wished that were true. "God, Donna..." he murmured, rubbing a hand over his face.

"How'd you find out?" she asked abruptly, and he looked up to see her collapsing on her leather office chair.

"Ziggy informed me that you'd been accessing timeline records." He smiled briefly. "Looks like you learned a few things from Sam."

She didn't return the smile. "So now we both know."

Al hadn't risen to the rank of admiral without learning the strategic advantages of height. If they sit, you remain standing. But somehow this time he felt at a distinct disadvantage. He sat down on the other chair.

"I had no idea," he whispered. Disconcerting was probably the nicest of reactions to the news. Being Sam's Observer and seeing history change before his eyes, he'd never given much thought to how it must be for those who found out after the fact. Ignorance is bliss, and right now Al wished he was still ignorant.

"I'm leaving, Al," the words he dreaded hearing, the ones he couldn't accept. Then or now.

"Give it some time," he pleaded. "Think about this. Don't do something rash in the heat of anger."

"Nothing's going to change in the cold hard light of day," Donna responded. "That is, not unless Sam-wherever he is-does something to wink me out of existence."

"He..." Al realized he had no idea what to say. Sam could have been home. He wasn't and it was, indirectly, Al's fault. Maybe he was the wrong person to be talking to her, maybe Verbena... "Sam loves you."

"He made his choice, and now I've made mine. I don't blame you, Al. I stopped blaming you a long time ago. Sam's a big boy now."

Al looked up, surprised. He assumed Donna was talking about the time they'd simo-leaped and Sam went back into the Accelerator to save his life. She'd never let on that she'd blamed him.

Al wasn't even sure he could blame her if she did. For the second time now, Sam had chose leaping over being with his wife, and both times was because of Al. Only this time it wasn't even something as urgent as impending death.

"If he'd remembered you..." Al started.

"He would have done the same thing, and we both know it."

At least Donna now seemed calmer, rational. It was a start. And maybe he was the only person that _could_ talk to her now. "I don't know about you, but I could use a drink," he suggested. She would understand that they were unlikely allies. He shared some of her pain.

"Good idea," Donna agreed. He was about to get up when she reached into a drawer and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. "For _special_ occasions," she explained to his widening eyes. She went over to the small refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of diet Coke, handing him one with a glass.

_Keep her talking,_ a voice inside him instructed. "What tipped you off? I mean, you didn't just go computer joy riding?"

Donna almost-smiled at the terminology. Then she frowned. "I had a...a dream. In the dream, Sam was in a place called Al's Bar."

Al stared at her, speechless.

"The bartender told him he could go home if he wanted to. Sam said he couldn't, that he had something else to do. Then he...he was in your house in San Diego, telling Beth to wait for you. It was so real. I had to...check."

"And you found out that in the timeline previous to this one...Beth and I weren't married anymore," Al finished with a dry mouth. He brought the glass to his lips and drank. Donna was a scientist, she'd been thorough. Ziggy had confirmed her dream within a 98% certainty.

Sam had given up going home, to get Beth back for Al.

And now Donna was leaving.

"He's a _good_ man," Al said lamely.

"I never said he wasn't. As a husband however, he leaves something to be desired."

"He's a kind, generous man who wanted more than anything to help mankind. The idealistic dreamer with a Don Quixote complex. Isn't that the same man you fell in love with?" He was grasping at straws, and hoping it wasn't totally obvious.

She stood up and began packing again.

"Donna, wait!" Al went over to her, grabbing her shoulders gently. "I know what you've gone through these past five years. It isn't easy on you, I know."

"What do you know of it?!" she spat, then slumped in apology.

"I've watched you hurting, missing him." The tears were starting to leak out from behind Donna's closed eyes. Al wasn't sure if that was a good sign or bad, though. "I would have done-and I will do- anything in my power to bring Sam home. _Anything_."

"It isn't good enough," she whispered. "He doesn't want to be home with me. He doesn't want me," she repeated.

"That's not true! He just doesn't remember, Donna. He didn't... choose to leave you."

"How convenient."

"Listen to me - I know Sam Beckett, and I know that you're the love of his life."

"Physics is the love of his life, and your friendship runs a close second."

Al was losing her. Time for drastic action. He led her over to the couch and sat down with her. "Okay. I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but you weren't always married to Sam." He'd gotten her attention, and he continued. "Your marriage was the result of a timeline change, too. He found himself at your college, while you were there. He'd leaped into a Professor Bryant-"

There was an in-drawn hiss of breath from Donna at the name.

"He was there to get two students together, but when he saw you..." Al paused, not relishing what he had to say next. "In the original history, you stood him up at the altar. But he was so crazy in love with you that he couldn't let this chance go, even though that's not why he was there. He risked everything to reconcile you with your father, in the hope that you'd go through with the wedding. He never got over your leaving him. There was never anyone else for him after that."

Donna was looking at Al intently, uncertainty tingeing her features.

"You can check it out with Ziggy, if you don't believe me. I'll give you the passwords, you won't even have to sneak around this time."

"I...stood him up?" she said in a small voice.

The words were there in her eyes, but Al said them for her. "He never blamed you. He tried to change history anyway."

"I miss him..." Donna cried softly, hiding her face in Al's shoulder. He comforted her as best he could, patting her arm.

"I know. But maybe you owe him one. I know it's cheap shot," Al told her hastily, "and I do understand how hard it is for you. But I don't want to see you make a mistake you'll regret for maybe a long time. Like Beth would have..."

Donna looked at him, her tears stopped almost as if they'd never been. There was understanding in her eyes. "You were gone..."

"Seven years," Al answered.

Donna got up and walked unsteadily back to the desk, picking up her neglected glass of liquor. She rubbed at her eyes with her free hand. "Oh god, I don't know what to do."

"There was a time when Beth doubted I'd ever come back, too. Look at us now, 39 years and counting. Happy years."

Donna was silent for awhile, then she turned and looked him straight in the eye. "Al, do you believe, _really_ believe, that Sam is coming home one day?"

"_Yes_," he said immediately, in an assured voice. "I do."

"I don't know if...I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stand the waiting," she confessed.

That much of a concession was like a god-send to Al. He nodded vigorously. "And no one would blame you if you had to leave. All I'm asking is for you to take some time and think it over."

"This isn't the first time I've considered...leaving him," Donna admitted.

"And it won't be the last, I know. Let me ask you something. How would you feel about Sam if he turned his back on all those people he's been helping? Put his own needs and desires ahead of others? Would he still be the same man you married?"

Donna actually smiled a little, albeit wryly. "I'm well aware that the very same wonderful qualities I so admired in him when I married him are also the ones that are making me consider leaving him."

"It ain't easy being married to a hero," Al quipped. "Ask Beth."

"Maybe I will," Donna murmured.

"I think she'll tell you it's worth it."

Donna laughed at his tentative declaration, and most of the tension left in a rush. "I'm not promising anything," she warned.

"I _do_ want you to promise me something," Al pressed his advantage, taking her by the shoulders again and looking into her eyes. "I want you to promise me-for _both_ your sakes-that you won't leave unless you're _completely_ certain it's right for you, there's not one hint of doubt left in your heart. Can you promise me that?"

Donna nodded slowly.

Al broke out in a smile. "Then everything will be all right." He started for the door.

"Al..." he paused at her call and looked back. "Thanks."

Al shrugged it off with a wave of his hand. "What are friends for?"

Impulsively, Donna reached out and hugged him.

"You gonna be okay now?" he asked.

She nodded. "I was thinking of calling Beth..."

"She's home, probably bored to tears. Give her a call." Al knew he could leave the rest in his very capable-and strong-wife's hands. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Al." He paused again, with his hand on the doorknob. "Sam is lucky to have a friend like you."

Al nodded. "I'd say he's charmed. Look at the wife he's got." He let himself out of her office, smiling.

**the end**

6/16/94


End file.
